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Gotta love Fridays…

Some say he came from space… to teach computers to hibernate,
and that his laugh sounds exactly like Bob Marley’s Jammin’.

Others say his version of fish porn is the real thing.

All we know is, he’s the most interesting guide in the world.

*

I don’t always get to fish myself, but when I do, I prefer bonefishing…
in the nude.

Stay salty my friends.

____________________

* Not familiar, check it out here.

DIY Bones… Somewhere in the Caribbean

Found the following over on ThisRiverIsWild. Not the sort of thing I usually post—swaggish vid posts—but I am legitimately jealous about this. Also, I wish to hell I knew where they were… and respect the hell out of them for not revealing that juicy bit of info.

Seeing the awesomeness of this particular post  you might wonder why I’ve not linked to these guys before. Well, I thought I had good reasons for that, but it turns out it was just my own prejudice and general delinquency. I honestly thought, “Shit, this is just fish porn” and, like regular porn, you might like it but probably wouldn’t link to it on your blog, even if your blog was about relationships and couples. (I did save them in my bookmarks, though.)

Ok, fine, so it’s not the deepest stuff out there, but these guys are actually out there, doing it, while the rest of us bloggers sit around trying to write poetry about it. (Ok, fine, not all of us just sit around, but I know I do, so I’m speaking for that segment of the blogosphere that I know anything about: me.)

The other reason that I didn’t link right away is that about the time I found them the became part of something called the flip flop nation, or fly flopping nation, or flip fish nation, or something. Pretty much not my thing, gotta say. Tons of back-slapping, lookihere, gen-me, x-treme sport types…. Um, new flash: fly fishing is not extreme, unless you’re a purist bastard who won’t fish with anything but a 3-weight bamboo rod and silk line for EVERYTHING. And even then “extreme” only refers to the extreme dumbassery of such an attitude.

But I digress; what I meant to say was these guys are awesome and generally rock the hell out of the whole DIY scene and I wish I was there, drinking warm beer, eating food that’s mostly bad for me, and catching the hell outa some Caribbean bones. So, please, won’t you join me in living vicariously.

Enjoy.

DIY Bonefish from Mr. Erdosy on Vimeo.

Fridays inspired by The STIG*

Some say his blood is salt water, while his sweat smells like spiced rum…
and that his vision only operates in infrared.

Some have heard him swear he’s never driven a boat
that he couldn’t fly.

All we know is, he’s the most interesting guide in the world.

*

I don’t always get to fish myself,
but when I do, I prefer not to nymph for steelhead in the rain,

but I will if I have to…

Stay salty (and warm) my friends.

____________________

* Not familiar, check it out here.

Learn Patois. Be cool.

 

 

Yeah, this is pretty hilarious. Much like the dialect back home, but more, well, Jamaican. Enjoy.

Clouds are not interesting… but the STIG* is.

Some say his fly rod grows from his finger like the silver Terminator,
and that the hooks on his flies are actually teeth he’s shed, like a shark.

Others say he’s convinced clouds are following him.

All we know is, he’s the most interesting guide in the world.

*

I don’t always get to fish myself, but when I do, I prefer bonefishing… for anything.

Stay salty my friends.

____________________

*Not familiar? Check him out here.

Blue Fins and All… (Pt. II)

Casting on a rarely calm evening.

December 28, 2000

Today I’ve decided not to go fishing. Instead thought I’d merely practice casting. There is a small flat a few minutes from home that’s perfect for this—shallow water, wide open spaces, and no mangroves to grab errant back-casts. I’d even occasionally seen bonefish there, but not today; today, it was just practice. Afterwards my walk back to the car passed a thirty-yard stretch of shoreline where a waterfront homeowner had removed all of the turtle grass so they could have a sandy beach right out their back door [1].

Apparently they were ignorant of the fact that the turtle grass is what actually holds the sand in place. It dissipates wave action, slowing the progress of the incessant waves on windward shorelines. Turtle grass is scarcely seen on leeward shores. In essence it keeps beaches from eroding in those places where they are in danger of doing so. With its removal the high-tide line was soon at the back door of the landowners in question and—spurred on by alarmed homeowners on either side who thought their beaches and (property values) might be the next to go—the government demanded they replace the beach and construct a breakwater to prevent further erosion. This saved their house, but the water right beyond those rocks is now a foot or two deeper than the surrounding flats. What’s left is a large, rectangular hole—perhaps a hundred foot square—with a mostly sandy bottom surrounded on three sides by grassy flats, flats that were now exposed by low tide.

I was walking along the boulders of the breakwater and wondering (as I always did) why I never saw fish in that deeper water when suddenly something caught my eye. A shadow in the middle of the hole seemed to move and when it did I noticed it had edges of fish shapes—a tail here, a nose there, a fin there. As my eyes adjusted I could see that it was in fact a school.

Mullets? No, I was fairly certain these were real fish [2]. Snook? The school was in silhouette and I couldn’t make out the distinctive lateral stripes of snook, and the fish were almost the right shape, but not quite. Could they actually be—please, heaven grant it—a whole school of bonefish? They must be. I quickly formed a plan. I would wade in well to the east (and upwind) of the fish and, standing far back from the edge, shoot my farthest cast to the outside of the school. Of course the novice’s first impulse is to lob his bait directly into the center of the fish, but at least I knew better than that. For one thing, I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure what species they were, and while tarpon or jacks may tolerate such direct tactics, bonefish or snook would certainly bolt with fright. No, better assume this was the jumpiest school of bones I’d yet run across and act accordingly.

Wading into position I was all nerves. Could this be it: the moment I’d been waiting on for a year? On my first cast I let the fly sink to the bottom, twitched it once and was tight to a fish. Just like that. In an instant it began burning off line and like a fool I broke it off. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That’s what comes of trying to be slick and palm the reel instead of using the drag like you know you should. With a background of pretty heavy self-abuse I reeled in to find my fly gone.

Of course.

*

Read Part I

Read Part III

____________________
1I assume they’d bribed local officials for this, since the DOE (Dept. of Environment) requires environmental impact studies the installation of a simple dock. Of course, it could be that since no one had ever dreamed anyone would want to actually remove turtle grass from the sea floor, there were no regulations against it and the DOE had to make up something on the spot. I expect they regretted that later on. [back]
2Not tiny-mouthed, spooky, vegetarian, wannabe fish. [back]

Trailer: “Itu’s Bones”

 

The making of a guide. Lovely to watch. This fella probably learned to bonefish in what, a few weeks? I wish there was medication I could take for jealousy… bloody natural fishermen.

Let me tell you friends, I have seen first hand photos from this place by actual, real world dudes holding these fish and they are HUGE. Monsterous. Mutant.

 

P.S. You think that broken hook (8:26) was a joke? Nah, that’s just bonefishing… when you use cheap-@$$ed hooks! Ye have been duly warned. Yaar.

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