Coconuts… or just plain nuts.
Dude, that is a lot of work for a few swallows of water. How did these two clowns even get their hands on those coconuts? Buy them? …and did he just ask for a straw? Clearly these guys needed to watch this first: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lan5hBOjFPg. Way more work, but at least it’s manly.
Ok, here’s the proper way to crack a coconut… in case anyone’s interested. First, if you just want the water, green coconuts are the best. Of course, these are usually still in the trees, so someone must get them. You can try throwing rocks or poking at them with your fly rod, maybe you’ll knock one down. Personally, I try to find a short coconut tree. Then climb it (or better yet, bet a buddy a couple cold-ones that he can’t climb it) and twist or cut a couple down.
Good, now all you need is a big rock. Place it on the ground and bang the bottom of the nut hard on the rock. Hopefully this will crack the soft kernel. This isn’t nearly as hard as Hanks makes it look in Castaway. Young coconuts are soft and crack easily. Let the water drain into a cup or drink straight from the source (like we used to do on hot summer days while cleaning fish on the shores with my grandfather).
If you can only get ripe coconuts — which are grayish-brown and often looked dried out — then the job gets a little harder and hardly worth it if you have bottled water on hand.
Stay nutty, my friends.